Once a Widow...

I rose at 7:00 am and started cooking. I was expecting a friend for lunch. I had not seen her socially for many years. We kept running into one another, at Overture, restaurants and on the street. I was always so excited to see her. Robotically we would state, "We really should get together". Last time she handed me her card and said, "Call me".

At noon the buzzer rang. I was like a puppy. Had I a tail, it would have been wagging. It was wonderful to have her in my home, catch up on old times and hear about her current life. I showed her around and then we had lunch.

After lunch, she settled into my comfy leather chair and I laid on my new couch. We were chatting away, "peeling the layers of the onion" when we hit the core and began to discuss our shared label..."widow".  I was overwhelmed with appreciation for the opportunity to speak of something I rarely touch on with others. I make passing comments but feel very alone in the experience. It was truly freeing to talk of the agony, the fears and the willpower it took just to breathe. We admitted that the pain lingers despite the passage of time. Don't get me wrong. We were not morose, just raw, honest and somewhat relieved to be in a space where we were understood.With other friends, I do mention my loss but generally I talk of my grief in passing and move quickly to the wonderful life I have now. I do not speak of how I feel guilty for being happy or even being alive. It is silly, I know.

I am convinced I will see my friend again, without waiting years, and that our friendship will not be a function of our widowhood. However, the fact that we lost our husbands, at a young age, in the blink of an eye, enhances our connection just as any commonality would do.



This occasion required an appropriate lunch. My guest is a foodie and a good darn cook. I wanted to have something healthy but flavorful. I found a wonderful recipe called Curried Quinoa with Pistachios and Dried Cranberries, in my newest Weight Watcher cookbook. My curry powder was old so I decided to make my own. By the time I was done mixing the spices, my house smelled fabulous. Hints of cardamom, turmeric, cloves and cayenne hung in the air. Weight Watcher recipes are very reliable. They do not skimp on flavor and are not shy about adding a little heat.

I also served a yummy marinated chicken breast I grilled at a friend’s house. I am not allowed to grill where I live. Hence, I have to mooch off others.

Both the chicken and quinoa were served at room temperature. The mint and chives came from my neighbors porch. Much appreciated!

Here’s the recipe…. Enjoy.

Curried Quinoa with Pistachios and Dried Cranberries

1 cup quinoa
2 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth
1 Tbsp. curry powder
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 lb. slender green beans, trimmed and halved
2 tsp. olive oil
2 celery stalks, sliced
1 small red onion, chopped
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/4 cup unsalted pistachios, chopped
1/4 cup lightly packed fresh mint leaves, chopped
1 small bunch of fresh chives, snipped
Finely grated zest & juice of one large lemon

Combine quinoa, broth, curry powder, cinnamon and salt in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer, covered, until liquid is absorbed and quinoa is tender, about 10 minutes. Remove pan from heat and set aside.

Heat 1″ of water in a nonstick skillet, add green beans and cook about 5 minutes, until just tender but still slightly crisp. Drain and hold under running cold water to stop cooking, Drain again and transfer to serving bowl.

Wipe skillet dry. Heat oil in skillet and add celery and onion. Sauté until onion is softened, about 5 minutes. Add to green beans along with quinoa and remaining ingredients, mix together and serve.

Serves 6

WW PP per serving (about one cup): 6